Flabajaba.

1:48 am

In my twitter update on the left, I wrote "On to Whose Life!" On to whose life indeed. I haven't been able to study even a little since I finished F451 after dinner.

The usual family drama. It always boils down to that for me. This time, my Dad's overseas, so there won't be any long rant about him.

I'm an atheist. I'm a freethinker and my parents can't accept it.

No, they'll shove Hinduism down my throat, not knowing its alienating me even more from it. Just because my beliefs defer from theirs, its perceived as wrong? Maybe I am goin through a phase, maybe one day 'something bad will happen to me' and I'll realise that I need to follow a religion...

"I grant you all that, but it doesn't alter the validity of my present position."

as Ken told Dr. Scott.

I don't dislike people who have a religion. Almost all my friends are theists, they're good, loving, kind people who follow religions. But I have atheist friends too. And they are good, loving, kind people as well.

Stalin was an atheist. Hitler was a catholic. Neither did what they did in the name of their beliefs or lack thereof.

So why the discrimination? Why are there people saying "Oh, so-and-so couldn't have done that, she's a _(insert religion here)_ !" Or "I, personally, will only marry someone one of my religion.." Have you tried ever having a relationship with someone who's not? No? Then why the abolutes? Why cut yourself off?

When we discuss religion, there's always that unspoken thing that we must have respect for another person't beliefs. That's why you don't see people (civilised ones atleast) yelling "Eh, how dare you be a Buddhist? Islam is the way!" or "Christianity? Hah! Sikhism is better!" That's disrespectful, hurtful, and not tolerated by society. Yet that same courtesy is never extended to those who don't believe in a God. Its always "Why are you an atheist?" or "How on earth can you not believe in a God?" I don't tell alot of people about my beliefs (oh well, I guess I just have)because I can anticipate their reactions to it.

And to get this from my parents? To be told things like "After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me?" That's what my mom said ten minutes ago. I love my parents. And I think i've done enough. I love them, I've never hurt them intentionally, and always helped them out when I could. I've never given caused much trouble. Whatever problems I've given my parents, its more out of mischief or forgetfullness. I study as hard as I can, and try my hardest for exams. I don't do as well as Lyddie or Salad, but I don't think I'll ever reach that level, irregardless of my beliefs.

I try to be the best person I can be. Yeah, I used to keep on yelling 'Boo!' at Nat, but I've stopped now. And it's not like I was trying to kill her. I may joke about being Saddam Hussein's grand-niece and a member of the Al-Qaeda, but does anyone who truly knows me actually think I would go around killing people? You've seen me in class, I get upset when people kill ants and insects for heaven's sake (pun intended). If people ask me for help (yes, I know its rare but still) when they do, I do what I can to give it to them. I don't care about their religious beliefs, and I don't think anyone should care about mine.

I'm not here to argue about whether God exists or not. I may be wrong in my atheist beliefs, just like others may be wrong in their theist beliefs. I feel, as of now, there is no conclusive proof, either way. And I don't see five-thousand year old religious texts as evidence, as much as my parents wave the books in my face.

Religion has cause harm- look at september eleventh, the bali bombings, caused by Muslims. Look at the violence in Kerala caused by Hindus. Look at the 'Troubles' in Northern Ireland (you've studied it, no?) caused by the Catholics and Protestants. Yet, it has caused so much of good too. Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, the list goes on and on.

On the other hand, how many people do you see causing trouble because of their lack of belief? How many people say "Hey friends, I'm an atheist, lets kill people!" And how many people do you see saying "I'm an atheist, let's feed the poor!"
I think that ultimately, people do kind deeds based on their character. They may feel motivated by other's influence, or a want to just help, or religion, or anything under the sun. Whatever their source of motivation is, bad people won't do good things. And you can't say that 'Oh, all the people in my religion are good" because you'll never be able to prove it, improbable as it is.

Maybe a few days or months or years later, I'll read this post, think, "Gosh, what a fool you are Rivali!" delete the post, then go to my temple or church or mosque to pray.But even then, it will be MY choice. Not my parents, not anyone else's. So they can force be to adhere to their beliefs, after all "might is right" and as a minor, I'm in their power. But I'll look forward to the day when people don't think coming out about their atheist beliefs is something shameful or risky.

I don't need people telling me "Oh, you're going to hell, I'll be laughing at you from up here." (Someone actually told me that)

I won't be affected because
a) I don't believe hell exists
b) Someone who is as prejudiced as that probably wouldn't have much to say that is worthwhile, and
c) In cold climates, I start getting asthma.

Okay, sorry. All that ranting has lightened my mood I guess. I'm making my usual bad jokes again!

Some Mondays when I see everyone in Chapel, singing and praying, once in a while I think... wouldn't it be nice if you just.... belonged? And I've spoken to people in school who are atheists too (yes! in MGS! In 4E! Shock! Horror!) and they feel the same way too... Wouldn't it be nice if you just belonged? Went back to what the majority believes in, like a stray sheep sheepishly (haha) returning to its shepherd, one of Wendy Watson's 'little sheepsies?' (I'll stop the sheep analogies now, I promise).

But just like you can't say "Let's not believe in God from now onwards! 5..4...3...2...1...Blast off! You're officially an atheist!" I can't do the opposite. And I'm happy about my beliefs, essentially, a little bit, I guess, or I would have returned to the flock by now (sorry about the sheep thing again).

Which is why I won't be affected if people tell my I'm going to hell. Hinduism doesn't believe in the concept of hell, so my parents won't tell me this. But if a muslim friend of mine comes and says, "You're going to hell" erm, well, I guess almost everyone I know will be there too. If a Christian or Catholic friend tells me that same thing, then my family, and some of my friends will be going there too. How does anyone know which religion is the 'right' one? After all, its due to pure circumstance of birth. If you were born in some remote village in punjab, you would have been a Sikh. If you had been born in South Africa, you would probably have been praying to some tribal God called "Tiki-tiki-malapi," wearing feathered headresses and sacrificing animals on a stone altar. And if you had been born in Rivaliville, you would have been praying to....

ME!

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;