Name:Rivali Dass
Age:16 :)
Birthday: 5th Oct '92
Class:1D '05, 2e '06 <33,3e '07, 4e '08
School: MGS
I <3: Family, My dogs, 2e, 4e, MORONS, painting, designing, writing weird stories, being generally weird, unsettling people...
HEY HEY BEEYOTCH! Hey, here's some funny spoofs I found on youtube...
Clinton-Obama:
Freedom Writers:
Aaanyhoo, as most of y'all know, Mr. Seow reappeared in school on Monday, though he hasn't been seen for the rest of the week (to Meera's OBVIOUS disappointment). For the record, she has been asked by MGS to pay $19854709434073952 as compensation for all the windows that shattered on Monday due to her excessive screeching. Word has it that she began stalking him the moment the motion sensors she had planted near his desk in the staffroom sounded off. An intense hunt ensued, with The Meerems ruthlessly following her prey, trying to tire him out so that she could pounce. Yes, people, that wind blowing past you on Monday? It was them, running at inhuman speeds. Word has it that Mr. Seow actually managed to run faster than the speed of sound, just so that he wouldn't have to hear her shrieking 'Me-elvy" at the top of her voice.Hmmm... will The Meerems catch her prey? Or will The Seow manage to elude her grasp? Only time will tell. Oh, a word of advice to Mr. Seow: She's planning to kidnap Baby, BEWARE!
Hahaha. Sorry Meerems! Am I being too mean? We still love you, you know? And so does- nevermind.....
Moving on, I've been thinking lately. I've got so many friends who have young siblings. Ding, Su-lyn, Meera, Shreyanka... I'm sure it can get annoying at times. (Though I want a baby sister!!! :DDD Or a rottweiler. Whichever.)Anyway, I've come up with some nursery rhymes which you can sing to all your younger siblings/relatives! They even come with morals and stuff!
I'm not a cookie, said the little muffin. I'm not a cookie, said the little muffin. Cookies aren't sweet, but I sure am. And then the little muffin turned into a leg of ham.
Moral:Be kind to strangers.
Composers are idiots, they play piano in the air. They were hideous neon clothes and have kooky, crazy hair. Composers are outcasts, and they really really smell. So if you come across one, please just throw 'em down a well.
Moral: Please throw _____ down a well.(HINT: It starts with an 'L' and rhymes with 'Xydia.')
Cat'rpillars are ugly, and butterflies are not. Paris Hilton is a joke and Taylor Hicks hot. (Yuck!) Don't grow up you little twerp, childhood is more fun, that's if you survive the drugs and the pimps toting those guns.
Moral: pImpZZZ rUlEZZZZ! Word.
Incy wincy spider went up the water spout, looking for some water in the middle of the drought. But that wasn't one of wincy's luck times. Cuz someone pressed the flush and killed him with some toxic slime.
Moral: Spiders get killed by toxic slime. Or they grow really really big and take over the world. But don't get any ideas into your head.
Little Ms. Muffet, sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. But she was arrested, and tried and tested because she was homo and gay.
Moral: If you're a homoSAAAAXUAL, get out of Singapore.
Older sisters are pretty, older sisters are hot. Olders sisters are beautiful, they're everything you're not. If you make us angry, We WILL make you pay. We'll force you to sing opera songs and lock you up in jail.
Moral: Beware of me. And give me all your money. Oh, come on! You've got more haven't you? Nasty little brat. STOP HIDING THE MONEY. Yes, yes, pay up.... Mwahahaha!
Oh, today Mrs. Tee called us losers! Because she was in class for most of recess, and she caught sight of half the class studying. Then almost towards the end of recess, she said "Girls, aren't any of you going to eat? Recess will be over soon..." So all of us were like "Oh, but we're doing work." and "No, we're not going to eat." And she lectured us on not having lives! Oh dear, :(
Humunga, Cowabunga, Rivali!
YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;
Sunday, February 10, 2008
12:13 pm
Hello, darlings.
I really don't have much to say.
Something that Lydia (or Xydia) said has been coming to mind over and over again. I think it was last Tuesday? and me, Xing Yi and her were having recess. Xing Yi (its so weird calling her that) okay fine, SOTONG, was complaining about how she felt dumb because she doesn't always get what people say. And then Lydia said- "Sotong, you know, you read in between the lines so much, that you forget to read the lines." And that, ladies and gentlemen, sums up our dear Vanessa Hew Xing Yi. Could YOU think of a more apt description?
In other news, never underestimate the power of facebook. I logged in about a few days ago, and saw a little notification saying that Ms. Marilyn Lau (otherwise known as 'Lau Lau') is "officially in a relationship" with some guy called Gavin Ng. Spread the word people! And if you're too lazy to do so, atleast tell Hilary- she'll do it for you. So, how do we use this interesting little nugget of information to disrupt future bio lessons? Hmmm... *evil laugh*
Thirdly, I went out with Su-lyn and Amrit (separately) this week. I was absolutely appalled by the choice of movies at the movie halls. Lido wasn't even worth mentioning. Even when I went with Su-lyn on wednesday. Ah Long Private Limited? Kungfu Dunk? CJ7? Sorry, I'm not interested. There were two other horror movies, as well as Sweeney Todd and Atonement, which were both M18.
Me and Su-lyn tried asking some people to help us buy tickets for Sweeney Todd, but all we got was a reaffirmation to the fact that most Singaporeans are nothing but a bunch of mindless, insociable pack of hamsters. I mean, if asking you to help us buy tickets goes so horribly against your morals and ethics (rolls eyes) then tell us so. Instead we got people ignoring us, looking over our heads (I may be short, but Su-lyn isn't), staring right through us and-most irritatingly- shrugging their shoulders or shaking their heads in an odd, jerky manner as if the whole bunch of them had Tourette's Syndrome. Its not the fact that they didn't help us, its the way they responded. They moved like they were puppets, whose puppet master had tangled up the strings. Its only a matter of time before the strings break.
I went out with Amrit on Friday a little wiser. We had wanted to watch Juno, but it apparently wasn't showing... :( So, we asked a Filipino lady to help us buy tickets for Sweeney Todd. Not a Singaporean. She told us not to make a habit of it, but helped us buy the tickets. Hah! Funny isn't it, that the very people many Singaporeans look down upon as maids etc, have better communication skills than half the country combined? I can bet you that if she didn't want to help us, she would have atleast told us so. Fortunately for us, she did.
But there was another obstacle: the guy who tore the tickets. We joined a whole crowd of people going in, and he was about to tear the tickets and just let us pass. He looked at Amrit, then he looked at me, and asked for our ICs. How sad. But its not like I expected to look 18 anyways. So Amrit showed him her IC even though it obviously stated that she was 16 ("If we leave, we leave in style."). I pulled out my IC too. The guy looks at our ICs, and tells. us. to. proceed.
WTF???
Not that WE were complaining! We waltzed into the movie hall, saying things like "This makes up for all those times we couldn't get into NC16 movies." and "This... this is an iconic day for mankind."
Anyway, we went in for Sweeney Todd. It is one of the saddest, nicest movies I've ever watched. Johnny Depp's acting was wonderful, there's no need to even mention it. The storyline was sad, but I can't get the movie out of my mind. It wasn't AS gory as I thought it would be, and the movie was so tastefully done anyway, that you never focussed on the blood that much. I actually cried.
And, I don't usually cry, so I was quite surprised at myself. Until I cried AGAIN after todays bio test. Whatever. I shall fail the O-levels, end up in poly, and go be a shepherd or a wanderer, just walking wherever I want to go. Its something I'd love to do (not the failing the O-levels part) and I know Sotong will be there to join me :)
Anyway, today is thursday. We had lit today. It was super hilarious!
It started with a few of us sneaking into class a teeny little bit late. Everyone was walking around, so it didn't really make a difference. Once all the MEP and History and Art and Geog girls had gone out of the class, the 15 of us were left, right? So, we were all standing there waiting to greet Mrs. Thomsett.
Mrs. Thomsett: Girls, why are you standing up? Lit class: [Looks at her blankly] Huh? Mrs. Thomsett: You all already greeted me! Lit class: We...did? Mrs. Thomsett: Yes! Just now! Lit class:[looks at each other, confused] Mrs. Thomsett: Aiyah, sit down, sit down! Good morning girls... Lit class: Good morning, Mrs. Thomsett. Mrs. Thomsett: No! You already... already did that-
Oh dear. I don't remember greeting her at all. I don't think anyone did. And while all this was going on, you could see the evil gears of Sotong's head slowly creaking into action. The look on her face was equivalent to her standing up and yelling "Yay! I've brainwashed all of them! You are all, like Me now. I am great... I am great.. I am- who am... I?"
After that, we were discussing Whose Life is it Anyway, and for the non-full-lit girls, ignorant fools, I'll give a brief summary....
Just kidding. Read the play yourself.
But, anyway there's this ward orderly called John. Some words to sum up his character (cpied from my Lit class notes) are practical, playful, irreverent and sexually aggressive. He is infatuated with Nurse Sadler, an inexperienced and rather naive nurse. So anyway, theres this scene where he corners her while she's sterilising instruments, and begins to flirt with her. And he's quite forward, so he's like saying things like "Lets go back to my pad for anatomy lesson" and he sings stuff about how her head bone's connected to the neck bone, which is connected to the shoulder bone, then the breast bone (while sliding his hand from her head to her neck to ... you get the point.)
So, two of the groups had to discuss John's character and their feelings towards him.
Giselle T. (presenting for her group): So, when John was like doing that, we felt a bit disgusted, and- Mrs. Thomsett: Disgusted? But I can see that your group has written attracted and charmed next to that... Lit class: ??? Giselle: (looking agitated) No! That's just Amanda (Soo)! Lit class: [Laughs, and then turns and looks at Amanda, who's sitting at her desk and staring resolutely ahead, refusing to look at anybody.] Mrs. Thomsett: No, but there are some aspects to him which charms people too, right? Its not like she's the only one. There are some types of people who are attracted to men like him..... Someone : Who gets attracted to perverts? Me: Amanda.
Then Thomsett was lecturing us on the type of guy we should settle down with and how people like John were playboys and would never settle down with one woman. It was certainly enlightening, but Yanka kept on saying "Yeah... bitches" so much , I couldn't hear properly! :( And Cassandra kept on reciting Chem formulas under her breath too! Oh dear. I have such weird friends. Thank goodness I'M not weird, right? (Runs away before I can be hit by a barrage of comments from people yelling the opposite)
After that, to sum the lesson up...
Mrs. Thomsett: So, when John is discussing the children in Africa, you see a more practical side to him, right? And you realize that there's more to him than ahorny bastard... Me: ?? Did she just call him a- Daniella: I.. think so.
w00t! THIS is why I'm so glad we have a new lit teacher. Lessons are actually interesting. Mind you, we learn alot during lit. And once in a while there are a few funny incidents in class which makes it better. (This does not apply to Yanka and Jin Yee, who drink vodka/sleep/eat/talk/try to shoot birds flying near the window/throw chalk at imaginary people during Lit lessons.)
Anyway, I'm skipping off to read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. You know, I picked up his book Stardust because I was bored, and I've been hooked ever since. Especially his collection of short stories. I mean the things he thinks of are so amazing, half the time when I'm reading, my mouth is just open. Read Neil Gaiman!
Celery, Rivali.
YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;
Sunday, February 03, 2008
11:44 pm
Hello me dearies. Blogging TWICE in one day. Now we haven't seen that here since Sec 2, right? Why, I wonder? Maybe because I was young and carefree in Sec 2, therefore I had more time. Let's dig deeper. Why was I more carefree in Sec 2? hmmmmm.maybe because my fatherwas away more often. there have been so many times when ive posted about how much i hate him, and then decided to remove the post because i fel sorry for him or because of someother crapped up reason. But seriously from today, i can shoutout loud and say- I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE i have half a mind to jump out of a window right now but i love my mom sister brother, hell even my dogs more than i love that fucking bastard. and if i were to kill myself u can be assured id i'd kill him first. im not sweeney todd or anything. i just hate his fucking guts. before this he used to be posted overseas for six weeks, then come back here for two weeks, since he's a pilot, just like his father. have i mentioned his whole entire family from his almost nonexistant sister to his fucked up BITCHES of aunts who look worse than pieces of horse shit I tell you, are all fucked up? anw, now his contract has changed. he comes back here for 10 days, after flying (he's based in bombay now) for EIGHT days. What kind of fucked up company has a contract like that? What kind of fucked up company would hire HIM as the bloody senior commander of its 747 fleet or some shit like that? im not ranting. i have a lit essay to write after this, just finished bio hw. its not like ive been procrastinating and not doing work. i went for tennis today, came back and did that piece of crap speech we have to do for english, went to yankas house to make pizza for CIPm then came back and did some maths. in the middle of bio homework he starts with all the drama, talking in bengali when he CANT speak the fucking language (i hate all bengalis with their frivolous attitutdes and their pretentious ways. stunning revelation! unless ur sulyn or amrit) he such an asshole. He just came in just now. I wasn't typing then. I was doing lit. Demanding that i go to sleep because its late.
"Go to sleep now." "I'm doing my homework." "GO TO SLEEP NOW!" "I'm doing lit homework and its quite important." "Why?" "What do you mean by why you fucking bastard? Because I have to pass up the fucking essay tomorrow? I don't mind though, i love lit. more than i'll ever like you you peice of shit.""I have to pass it up tomorrow." "What time is it?" "Don't you have a fucking watch on you, you asshole? look, its there on your big fat wrist. don't worry, I'm not surprised. You can't even see it when your own children have daydreams about killing you/ you migrating far far away. You don't even see that everyone in this family (yes, THIS family, not YOU'RE family, turd)hate you." "Twelve o clock." "How long will it take?" "How the FUCK am i supposed to know?" "I don't know." *closes the door*
I've hated him since p5? The DAY before my PSLE he kicked up so much of a fuss and started getting so angry, my mom walked out (with us ofcourse. See, my mom is the best mom in the world). What were you doing the day before your PSLE? Studying? Trying to calm down? I was walking in macritchie reservoir forcing myself not to jump in. Then i was at the Ritz Carlton. the maid helped us pack some clothes so we drove by and picked it up and scooted back off. Its a wonder i passed my PSLE. But if god exists, then the one good thing he did was to make me get, what? 15 marks more than i expected in that exam? Though, you know, you could have just given me like a normal father and stuff? But whatever. same thing a few days before the sec 2 streaming. Back in the ritz carlton. but i got into a triple science class, whatever. but im growing older, and feeling the effects of his unreasonability (is that even a word i dont give a fuck) even more and if this happens the day before my o lvevels i wont be able to take it. i know i wont.
Funny how I'm able to keep up with that crazy, free-spirited facade in school huh? Its not that thats not who i am. It is and I love it. But there's the other, introverted, quiet side, that bookworm who walks around listening to music all day, that recluse who'll sit in one corner and paint because she doesn't want to think about anything else. And no one really knows that side of her, except her mom, Amrit, Sotong, and maybe Su-lyn. I sometimes wonder which side will win eventually. Or will they be battling it out for the rest of my life? Or maybe they'll reach some sort of agreement (the kind that That Man and I will never reach), where the better qualities of both are retained. I certainly hope so.
She's crying now, man, she isn't laughing, as much as she'd love to.
YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;
7:09 pm
Hey Hey. Schools been really fun lately (Yeah, just push thoughts of the O-levels RIGHT outta your mind) so here are -after a really long time- QUOTES! Oh, most of the quotes are from, believe it or not, Bio lessons! Ms. Lau seems alot more fun this year. So, either she's loosened up, or she's given up trying to get us to pass the O-levels (There's this little voice inside my head screaming "It's the latter, it's the LATTER!" but lets push that out of our minds for the time being, no?
Ms. Lau: And how do bile pigments relate to excretion, Cheryl Seah? Cheryl S: (obvs not paying attention)Er.. the answer is.. urm.. excretion.. 4E: ??? Cheryl S: You see, I have a mosquito bite on my toe... Everyone: ??????????
Mrs. Tee: Yes, yes.. Shreyanka, you're right... 4E: (state of shock) Me: Momentuous words... She'll probably never say that again.
Mrs. Tee: Now, 4E, I shall check whether all of you have done the two graphs I aske dyou to do for homework? 4E: (some take out their graphs, some start doing the graphs, and others carry on sleeping/staring out of the window/mumbling to themselves) Shreyanka: (frantically starts drawing her graph) Mrs. Tee: Nicole, Lauren, good, you did it.... Shreyanka? Shreyanka: Urm, Mrs. Tee, I ..er.. only managed to draw the scale and..erm.... Mrs. Tee: (being serious) Good, good... Keep it up! Shreyanka: Huh? What's- Mrs. Tee: This is an improvement! Carry on like this and you will get your A1! Shreyanka: (too shocked to say anything.... for once)
Krithika: Why are the (molecular) bonds drawn like that? Mrs. Lim: Like if you go to a hawker centre, if two people are a couple, they'll sit next to each other so that they can hug-hug right?And- Hilary: Huh? I thought that they'd sit opposite each other so that they can look into each other's eyes (her eyes mist over, and she stares off into the distance) Mrs. Lim: No...you know, one look at a couple and I can tell whether they're married or not... You can tell lah. (looks proud) Hilary: Wah, Mrs. Lim ah, we know you have the most experience lor... Mrs. Lim: (looks disturbed)
Mrs. Lim: You know, after school I go to the coffeeshop and have a coffee, and I observe the people there... Its quite fun... Hilary: Like, ehmahgawsh, you're like stalking them! Evangeline: Oi, be careful ah, later you stare at the wrong person, you kena die... Mrs. Lim: Only if people like you stare at them... Evan: (in a horribly sarcastic voice) My heart is breaking!!!
Mr. Ong: (poking his head around the door)Giselle, can you see me at recess? (goes away) Giselle Goh: (nods her head, expression inscrutable) 4E: (silence) Hilary: OOOOOH, GISE-ELLE!!! Mrs. Lim: (looks disturbed)
Yanka: Did Ms. Or just call me yanka?? (Word of advice to teachers: Don't. Call. Her. That.) Me: Er.. I think so.. Yanka:F*CK THAT!!!! Me: (starts laughing) Ms. Or: Why are some people laughing? You all should pay attention and read the instructions, not laugh. Its not like there are any jokes printed on this assignment.. Yanka: THATS funny! (starts laughing maniacally) 4E: (starts laughing too) Ms. Or: Oh dear.. I think this class needs some medication.... Me: Yanka doesn't. She needs to stop the drugs..
Ms. Chuah: I shall ask questions to those who are not paying attention... Lydia? Lydia: (wakes up with a jolt; can't answer the question) Ms. Chuah: Aaah, I've caught one who's not paying attention... How about.... Denise? Denise: (keeps on sleeping) Ms. Chuah: Denise, what's the answer? Denise: (keeps on sleeping) Ms. Chuah: Denise? Someone wake her up... 4E: (No response) Amanda -who sits next to Denise: (Ignores Ms. Chuah; Looks at Denise with disinterest, before staring out of the window) Ms. Chuah: Denise? De-neeeese? Denise: (keeps on sleeping) Ms. Chuah: (goes over to Denise and pokes her with a worksheet) Denise: (keeps on sleeping) Ms. Chuah: (gives up and walks away) Denise: (wakes up, looks around at the sniggering class blearily, and goes back to sleep)
Mrs. Tee:(drawing a graph) Now girls, I'm going to leave this part out because I can't reach that part of the board... 4E: (laughs) Mrs. Tee: (mumbling) Stop laughing at my height... 4E: Aaaawww.. Mrs. Tee: Its okay, I'm used to people laughing about my height... It's all the years of teaching... Joycelyn: Were you always short? Mrs. Tee: (ignores her) Evangeline: No Lyn, she shrank... Some Idiot: Ohh... Mrs. Tee did you shrink? Mrs. Tee: (ignores her)
Ms. Lau: (explaining homeostasis) So, homeostasis is the reguluation of the internal environment of your body. You know, when females have a high level of the hormone estrogen right, then- Hilary: Ohh, when you have too much of it, does it make you horny? Ms. Lau: (looks disturbed) No, um... because.... er, because you see... the hormones..um.. (voice slowly dwindles away until she's mumbling to herself)
Poor Ms. Lau. After that, Yanka started talking about the first time she was booked for eating in class, and saying stuff about how she was with Giselle Goh and stuff. Then Ms. Lau interrupted her and went on with the lesson, but Yanka kept on making gestures to Giselle. Then suddenly, in mid-sentence, Yanka yelled out (to Giselle) "NO! I WAS EATING BAK KWA!" Ms. Lau looked like she was going to cry.... But on Friday, Salad was telling me about how 4G had done this whole choir thing during Ms. Lau's lesson, and Tam Mei had taken someone's prefect tie and was walking around with Esty's death incarnate badge during Bio! HAHA. Poor Ms. Lau.
In other news, THREE (gasp!) days of February have gone by and Meera's darling is nowhere in sight! After managing to wrangle out the news that Mr. Seow is returning in February from her unsuspecting new Social Studies teacher, MEERA RAJAH had been counting down the days, while telling screaming at every one in sight about his return. However, now that ONE (gasp!) school day in February has gone by, with him being a no-show, Meera is displaying symptoms of those who have gone barking mad after suffering an extreme disappointment. She has been spotted walking around the school aimlessly, mumbling to herself. The outside of the staffroom seems to have become her favourite haunt, and she is seen waiting there regularly, holding a stuffed frog in her hand. When yours truly asked her who she was waiting for, she flipped her fringe back from her face and opened her mouth wide, in preparation for the high-pitched shrieks that have become a trademark of hers. Before I could hastily shove earplugs into my ears and run away, I heard her screech "MEEEEEEEEEEL-VYYYYYYY!!!!" So, will the legendary lovers of MGS be reunited again, or will their heart-breaking (*snigger*) story go by the wayside? Only time will tell... ps: I thought he was coming back in July? Don't cry Meera- hey, stop crying right n- Security! 911! There's a flood in here! HAAAALLLLPPPP!!!
Going back to my planet now, Rivali.
YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;
