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♥ Me.

Name:Rivali Dass
Age:16 :)
Birthday: 5th Oct '92
Class:~~1D '05~~, ~~2e '06 <33~~,~~3e '07~~, 4e '08
School: MGS
I <3: Family, My dogs, 2e, 4e, MORONS, painting, designing, writing weird stories, being generally weird, unsettling people...

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♥ Those Memories

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

8:14 pm

Hello.

When I was doing the O-level lit paper, I realised that the poem was about marriage? (I did the prose) Even during our midyears,the poem we had to do was about a china bride.

And I was thinking, hard as it is to analyse these poems (forget about doing well in the essays we write about them) it must be pretty easy to write them. I mean, all of you who have ~~been tortured~~ studied Singaporean lit must have realised it, right? Throw in wordsjoinedtogether, a few unintelligible phrases, random punctuation marks, and voila! a Singaporean poem!

Here's an example. I wrote it myself :D

You. China Bride.

You. China Bride.
Superficial marriage.
/
/________ /___ /

You go.
________to
___the
house we stay in.
I see you glancearound.
unhappy.
too small.
you wanted,
a two storeyed bunga<#?low.
but you
____/
____/
/________got a
terrace house you have
to share
with
my
mother grandmother sister sister's husband sister's daughter aunt aunt's husband aunt's husband's grandmother and goldfish.

youdon'tlikefish

but i have one.
which you don't like
because you don't like fish
but i like fish
unlike you
so we decide to keep it. a compromise.

even if you didn't get what you wanted.

You look at me
<#^??$
atmyappearance

i see you thinking: "his brother looks so much better"
don't try to hook up with him. or I willsendyoubacktoDalian

with your mother.
?:?
who
is
ugly.
i don noe why you brought her here.

she can sleep on the couch
forever.

we had three wedding banquets.
waste money leh.
could have used it to have some.... fun in Geylang.
youdon'tunderstandwhatImean. because you don't speak english.
>.good.<

You are so short. But I am shorter.
Not to mention the age diffrence.
_________/
___ /
that's why no one married me. except you.
because you wanted a new life.
I am your passport to a new world.

Mr and Mrs. Tan
The newlyweds.

You. China Bride.
Superficial marriage.
/
________/
___/

Not bad eh? In fact, I can see why Singaporean poets enjoy writing poems so much. Its pretty fun.. you should try it!

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;

Sunday, November 16, 2008

11:40 am

Hello! Yelling out 'freedom' or 'I'm alive!' is going to be so cliched so I'll just do with a 'hello!'.
Yes. Hello!
Hello again! I can type out rubbish all day long, and there will be NO CONSEQUENCES.

My room is still strewn with textbooks and TYSes. I haven't cleaned it up yet.

Anyway, went out with Amanda Soo, Cheryl Seah, Deanna, Giselle Tham, Lydia, Nic Heng and Priscilla after the O's ended. We watched HSM3, and were kind of separated into Nic, Amanda and Giselle who love High School Musical, and the rest of us who.. er.. didn't.

Troy: [playing basketball, losing]
Gabriella: [stands up, the lone figure among the seated crowd] Trooooooy! You can do it!
Troy: [looks at Gabriella, and her encouragement and love gives him the strength he needs to carry on playing, to eventually win the game]
Deanna: Eeeyurgh....

Everyone: [singing and dancing happily, smiles plastered on their faces]
Ryan: [dancing on the piano, happily singing]
Lydia: STOP STEPPING ON THE PIANO!

And I think Lyddie must have done something else, because in the middle of the kissing scene I think, Nicole suddenly yelled at her "You're ruining the moment!"

Poor nic.

We had lunch in Swensen's at plaza sing.

Waiter: [brings some plates of food and just stands there, looking at us expectantly]

Me: Er.. which one is the chicken baked rice?

Waiter:[points at one, then the other, then sighs and just walks away]

Nic: Oh, I forgot to tell you, the service is bad here.

Everyone: -_________-

Hahaha! Lunch was good though, despite everything. Then as we were walking out, AFTER paying the bill, we passed another waitress who informed us that Gis and Amanda's ice creams (part of a set) hadn't been served yet. So we went and sat back down. It was quite sad actually.

Then we were just walking around plaza sing. We discovered where Mrs. ________ shops for clothes- the 'Build-a-Bear Workshop.' If you go there and see the clothes, you'll realise what I'm talking about heheh. Then Cheryl wanted to go spotlight, and Deanna and me didn't, so the group kind of fractured. We were just walking around aimlessly thinking "WHAT DO WE DO NOW?" And everyone was just thinking, oh dear, if this is the first day of freedom and we're already bored, what are we going to do for the next two months? So we sat down in some corner of plaza sing (outside the build-a-bear workshop, the most pointless retail outlet in the world) and just talked. And people were giving us 'The Eye' probably because Lydia Yeo DECIDED TO TAKE HER SHOES OFF AND AIR HER FEET (maybe we should rename it 'The Nose'... ok, kidding).

Then headed off to Udders. But guess what? It was closed for renovation! And guess what? It was opening the very next day! Talk about adding salt to the wound. So we headed off to united square and took retarded videos..

Cheryl's Food Review

Lydia's Food Review- this one was obviously shot by Cheryl Seah.

Prisci's 'Rap'

And this was the most retarded...

Ninjaaaaa!
Incase you're wondering, yes, people were staring...

Oh,on the way from plaza sing to United Square, we took the mrt, and there was this busker at the underpass there... Apparently, he was Nic's favourite busker? So we all gave him some money, then we requested a song. So he started singing, and we ~~sang~~ screeched along, though the only words we knew to it were 'let it be.' People were staring at us as they walked by, but it was really a great experience. :)

After that, went to The Cricket Club with my family for dinner, and I mentioned the incident to my dad. And he suddenly started singing the song...

Let It Be -The Beatles

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,

speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,

there will be an answer, let it be.

For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,

there will be an answer. Let it be.

Let it be, let it be .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,

shine until tomorrow, let it be.

I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be .....

So, its 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. What shall I do now? Watch gossip girl? Prank call people (Hello, Meera, this is Kenneth speaking)? Go to sleep? I don't think I can.

I just read a pretty haunting story in The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami. He's a fantastic author really (compared to Stephanie Meyer), but his stories make you think alot. And in some cases get slightly freaked. And since my dogs refuse to come into my room tonight for some reason, and having my nightlight on doesn't seem very helpful on this dark, cloudless night, I guess I'll stay awake until my domestic helper wakes up. That's in three and a half hours. Otherwise I'll get nightmares. During the olevels it was about failing and stuff. Not so bad. Now, with the freedom and time to let my imagination run wild, its about vampires and all..... And not the edward cullen type, unfortunately.

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;

Monday, November 10, 2008

9:09 pm

I can't study. I mean, yeah, I've flipped through some Chem, but my heart's really NOT into it anymore, which is scary considering MCQs constitute 1/3 of the marks for our science papers?

Physics today was.... okay I guess. I'm still angry at myself over that DUMB TIGHTROPE QUESTION!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHH....

Anyway, my sister borrowed Twilight from her friend the week before my O-levels began and, to my shock and horror, I found myself reading it. And it was pretty good actually. However, wisely realising that it would not be good for me to start reading a book on the 19th of October, I forced my sister to give it back to her friend. Then, my mum went to Borders and bought the book for me. You know the usual- she hid it in her cupboard so I wouldn't know until after the O's. But ofcourse, I found out. Rivali Dass, Super spy.

Speaking of spies, I can't wait to watch Quantum of Solace...

Or maybe THIS is a better picture. Haha. Ha.

Anyway, back to Twilight. So, after finding the book, I finished reading it. This was on Saturday. And today? Today, I came home and finished reading.. New Moon. Thank Goodness I haven't bough Eclipse yet or I would have finished that too.

I used to be a bookworm in primary school. In P2, people would be playing hopscotch (throwing wallets around and pretending to be rabbits never appealed to me)but I would be reading like Enid Blyton or something. Some people called me Mrs. Potter (sorry Shuwei!). By Sec 2, it had all fizzled out. What were books compared to making sick jokes with Amrit, listening to Salad fangirling over Bleach, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of various types of handcuffs with Esther, being killed by Huiling, laughing with (more often AT) Huiting, doing crap with 2e, throwing cockroaches at old teachers (sorry Mr. Low) and washing windows during history lessons?

By the time sec 4 came around, I rarely read books. Gossip Girl, ANTM, Project Runway, bullying Nat, etc etc etc. And by the time Hew Xing Yi reintroduced the joys of reading to me again, O'LEVELS AND PRELIMS were too close to do anything about it. sigh. I think thats why Clarisse from F451, in my mind, has a rather Xingyi-ishness to her.

Anyway, two more

days and I'm free.

Woohoo.

It looks good, no? Except forget the vampires, they both sound like zombies.

"Your skin is pale white and ice cold. You don't go out into the sunlight."

"Say it out loud. Say it"

"Vampire."

"Are you scared."

"No."

....

Not that I'm not dying to watch it. :D

Haha, Iwas just on facebook, and I saw that I had commented quite a while back,"Eeeeww" when Xianwen became a fan of twilight. Both she and Denise commented that as much as it pained me to admit it, I probably liked Edward.

Well, they're right about one thing. it does pain me to admit it!

I watch Gossip Girl, ANTM, Project Runway, read Twilight.... I've joined the legions of screaming, stereotypical teenage girls who I've beentrying to distance myself from! Oh no! Next thing you know, I'll be proclaiming Sophie Kinsella the best author in the world! What if I start watching Korean Dramas? Fangirling over all those Kibums and whatnot that Cassandra is so in love with? What if, horror of horrors, I actually start understanding what Evan means when she yells 'Haru Haru!' What if my knowledge of the Korean language increases, and the words I know won't only include 'Kimchi' 'Pabo' and 'Chugalay' ??

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

I guess there's only one question I should ask myself :What would Chuck Bass, the epitome of calm, do?

Oh wait- Gossip girl again... *runs away screaming*

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;

Thursday, November 06, 2008

2:12 pm

Oh dear, I really shouldn't be posting so much during the O's, but in light of Barack Obama's historic, if not expected, victory yesterday, I'd like to post my favourite youtube videos regarding the election.

HAHAHAHAHAH.

"She's a woman!"

Ofcourse, I could post all the Saturday Night Live Videos here too, but they're not on youtube and I'm too lazy to scout around the internet looking for them...

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;

1:48 am

In my twitter update on the left, I wrote "On to Whose Life!" On to whose life indeed. I haven't been able to study even a little since I finished F451 after dinner.

The usual family drama. It always boils down to that for me. This time, my Dad's overseas, so there won't be any long rant about him.

I'm an atheist. I'm a freethinker and my parents can't accept it.

No, they'll shove Hinduism down my throat, not knowing its alienating me even more from it. Just because my beliefs defer from theirs, its perceived as wrong? Maybe I am goin through a phase, maybe one day 'something bad will happen to me' and I'll realise that I need to follow a religion...

"I grant you all that, but it doesn't alter the validity of my present position."

as Ken told Dr. Scott.

I don't dislike people who have a religion. Almost all my friends are theists, they're good, loving, kind people who follow religions. But I have atheist friends too. And they are good, loving, kind people as well.

Stalin was an atheist. Hitler was a catholic. Neither did what they did in the name of their beliefs or lack thereof.

So why the discrimination? Why are there people saying "Oh, so-and-so couldn't have done that, she's a _(insert religion here)_ !" Or "I, personally, will only marry someone one of my religion.." Have you tried ever having a relationship with someone who's not? No? Then why the abolutes? Why cut yourself off?

When we discuss religion, there's always that unspoken thing that we must have respect for another person't beliefs. That's why you don't see people (civilised ones atleast) yelling "Eh, how dare you be a Buddhist? Islam is the way!" or "Christianity? Hah! Sikhism is better!" That's disrespectful, hurtful, and not tolerated by society. Yet that same courtesy is never extended to those who don't believe in a God. Its always "Why are you an atheist?" or "How on earth can you not believe in a God?" I don't tell alot of people about my beliefs (oh well, I guess I just have)because I can anticipate their reactions to it.

And to get this from my parents? To be told things like "After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me?" That's what my mom said ten minutes ago. I love my parents. And I think i've done enough. I love them, I've never hurt them intentionally, and always helped them out when I could. I've never given caused much trouble. Whatever problems I've given my parents, its more out of mischief or forgetfullness. I study as hard as I can, and try my hardest for exams. I don't do as well as Lyddie or Salad, but I don't think I'll ever reach that level, irregardless of my beliefs.

I try to be the best person I can be. Yeah, I used to keep on yelling 'Boo!' at Nat, but I've stopped now. And it's not like I was trying to kill her. I may joke about being Saddam Hussein's grand-niece and a member of the Al-Qaeda, but does anyone who truly knows me actually think I would go around killing people? You've seen me in class, I get upset when people kill ants and insects for heaven's sake (pun intended). If people ask me for help (yes, I know its rare but still) when they do, I do what I can to give it to them. I don't care about their religious beliefs, and I don't think anyone should care about mine.

I'm not here to argue about whether God exists or not. I may be wrong in my atheist beliefs, just like others may be wrong in their theist beliefs. I feel, as of now, there is no conclusive proof, either way. And I don't see five-thousand year old religious texts as evidence, as much as my parents wave the books in my face.

Religion has cause harm- look at september eleventh, the bali bombings, caused by Muslims. Look at the violence in Kerala caused by Hindus. Look at the 'Troubles' in Northern Ireland (you've studied it, no?) caused by the Catholics and Protestants. Yet, it has caused so much of good too. Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, the list goes on and on.

On the other hand, how many people do you see causing trouble because of their lack of belief? How many people say "Hey friends, I'm an atheist, lets kill people!" And how many people do you see saying "I'm an atheist, let's feed the poor!"
I think that ultimately, people do kind deeds based on their character. They may feel motivated by other's influence, or a want to just help, or religion, or anything under the sun. Whatever their source of motivation is, bad people won't do good things. And you can't say that 'Oh, all the people in my religion are good" because you'll never be able to prove it, improbable as it is.

Maybe a few days or months or years later, I'll read this post, think, "Gosh, what a fool you are Rivali!" delete the post, then go to my temple or church or mosque to pray.But even then, it will be MY choice. Not my parents, not anyone else's. So they can force be to adhere to their beliefs, after all "might is right" and as a minor, I'm in their power. But I'll look forward to the day when people don't think coming out about their atheist beliefs is something shameful or risky.

I don't need people telling me "Oh, you're going to hell, I'll be laughing at you from up here." (Someone actually told me that)

I won't be affected because
a) I don't believe hell exists
b) Someone who is as prejudiced as that probably wouldn't have much to say that is worthwhile, and
c) In cold climates, I start getting asthma.

Okay, sorry. All that ranting has lightened my mood I guess. I'm making my usual bad jokes again!

Some Mondays when I see everyone in Chapel, singing and praying, once in a while I think... wouldn't it be nice if you just.... belonged? And I've spoken to people in school who are atheists too (yes! in MGS! In 4E! Shock! Horror!) and they feel the same way too... Wouldn't it be nice if you just belonged? Went back to what the majority believes in, like a stray sheep sheepishly (haha) returning to its shepherd, one of Wendy Watson's 'little sheepsies?' (I'll stop the sheep analogies now, I promise).

But just like you can't say "Let's not believe in God from now onwards! 5..4...3...2...1...Blast off! You're officially an atheist!" I can't do the opposite. And I'm happy about my beliefs, essentially, a little bit, I guess, or I would have returned to the flock by now (sorry about the sheep thing again).

Which is why I won't be affected if people tell my I'm going to hell. Hinduism doesn't believe in the concept of hell, so my parents won't tell me this. But if a muslim friend of mine comes and says, "You're going to hell" erm, well, I guess almost everyone I know will be there too. If a Christian or Catholic friend tells me that same thing, then my family, and some of my friends will be going there too. How does anyone know which religion is the 'right' one? After all, its due to pure circumstance of birth. If you were born in some remote village in punjab, you would have been a Sikh. If you had been born in South Africa, you would probably have been praying to some tribal God called "Tiki-tiki-malapi," wearing feathered headresses and sacrificing animals on a stone altar. And if you had been born in Rivaliville, you would have been praying to....

ME!

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;

Monday, November 03, 2008

8:51 pm

Oh gosh, the last three weeks have been so hectic...

Today was Social Studies. Erm, luckily for me, both Sri Lanka and Northern Ireland as well as Iraq-Kuwait came out... It should come as no surprise to those who know me that I chose the latter. SBQ was pretty screwed. I forgot how to do usefullness! Who forgets something after studying it that very morning?? Put it doen to exam nerves. I was the least prepared for SS out of all my exams. Aaargh.. But I just did cross-referencing and critical analysis of provenance in the end.

So far the exams have been pretty good and bad. The physics paper was a disaster. My prediction for physics after seeing our Prelim paper was correct. I think the teachers could have prepared us a little better for it. Yes, challenging questions should be set. But not to such an extent that it exceeds O-level standards by so much. The O-level physics paper was simpler than the Prelims, and I think that was my undoing. Instead of being asked to prove complicated things about heat capacity, we were asked to state the definition of a vector quantity, and were expected to know things like the size of an atom (which I admit is rubbish). Pity those things weren't reinforced in us before we went for the exam.

Geography too. We were never really taught how to look at pictures and answer questions, and it led to me being totally filled with self-doubt during the exam. Should I rely entirely on the picture? Or should I write about other things as well? But, for the first time in my Geographical life, I actually finished the paper! This compared to last years SA2s when I left thirty percent blank, or this year's prelims where I didn't do an entire LORMs question. So, pretty much okay.

The other subjects were pretty much routine. Not that thats an indicator of me doing well, just that what the teachers had prepared us for came out. Especially Amaths, where after we finished paper 1, Mrs. Tee looked at the paper, predicted the things they would set for us in Paper 2 and went running around the school passing us a list of all the possible topics. She really should have won this year's caring teacher award! :)

But the biggest hurdle is left to be crossed. Lit girls, you know what I'm talking about. Will we jump over the hurdle with ease, or collapse, falling to the ground in our efforts to triumph?

Literature!

Oh, how I love you, yet despair of you at the same time.

The other day I was at my friends house studying, and I was talking about how scared I was for lit and all. She's taking H2 Lit so I guess she knew what I was talking about. She held the Fahrenheit 451 book in front of her face, and started talking, pretending to be the book.
You know what she said?

"Love me, hate me, its still an obsession."

An obsession which I can do well in, I hope.
--------------------

Oh, and I have another favourite quote stuck in my head..

"Because..... I'm Chuck Bass."

I swore I'd never watch Gossip Girl yet I caved in after the prelims. Dumb as Serena may be, the series is enjoyable.. if only because of Chuck and Blair. Is it just me or does Chuck's way of speaking remind you April Chye? Haha. Probably just me.

And they released a promo video for one of the episodes for Season 2....

While this coonclusively proves that the morals Gossip Girl preaches are not to be followed, oh gosh, I can't wait to start season 2 when the O's are over! I know Nat and Xianwen I think aren't gonna watch it until O's are over too, but I think I'm going to cave in soon...

Flibbertigibbet,
Rivali

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;