Name:Rivali Dass
Age:16 :)
Birthday: 5th Oct '92
Class:1D '05, 2e '06 <33,3e '07, 4e '08
School: MGS
I <3: Family, My dogs, 2e, 4e, MORONS, painting, designing, writing weird stories, being generally weird, unsettling people...
I have to go for Bengali tuition TWICE this week, to make up for classes I missed earlier. My Bengali holiday homework is the pits. Our schoolteacher gave us a pile of homework. On top of that, my tuition teaacher is making me memorize 90458729458 compos because I have 'no hope' of writing one on my own. Hello? According to her, if I do well in a bengali exam, it because the paper was easy. If I do badly, its because I suck at the language. Double standards.
UPDATE: That was last week. This week, I had CIP, so I didn't go for Bengali Tuition at all, sadly.
The bengali school-homework is not so much that I can't do it. But add that to Bengali tuition homework, plus all my school holiday homework? NOT POSSIBLE. I mean I'm fine with doing school homework. Today, I happily sat down and finished one of the physics testpapers. The only thing I can't stand is Bio and Bengali, but atleast Bio is in English which is probably why Ms. Lau hasn't been bombarded with spitballs yet. Kidding. I'm not that mean.
I wonder what all our dear friends are doing for the holidays....
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached an altitude of 35000 feet and..." The pilot's voice faded into the background, as the cabin lights were switched on. Shreyanka sat in seat 1A, in First Class. The rest of her family was somewhere else on the plane, but who cared where they were? She had, of course, intimidated her parents into letting her fly First Class. "Ma'am, would you like a drink?" asked the stewardess. "We have coke, sprite, orange juice-" "Yeah, do you have... Dom Perignon?" "Yes, but Ma'am, minors are not allowed to have alcoholic drinks..." "I ain't a minor..." Shreyanka pulled out her fake ID and threw it at the stewardess. "Now could I have summa that bubbly?" The stewardess began pouring out a glass for her, but Shreyanka grabbed the whole bottle and ignored her until she walked off.
Shreyanka switched on the inflight entertainment system. She scrolled through the movies available, while sipping her champagne. "Hmmm.. PG? Nahh," she muttered. "NC16, NC16.. R21! Oh goody. R21 for... drug references, and excessive use of vulgarities. That's my type of movie." She was settling down to watch the movie, when she caught sight of a fellow passenger being served his dinner. The man was British- a caucasian, which automatically meant that the stewardess was paying special attention to him. "You chose the shredded chicken breast with vegetables sauteed in white wine, did you?" the stewardess said, as she put a tablecloth on the table. "Ooh, our breast- I mean chicken breast is wonderful... Really." She giggled in a high-pitched voice. Shreyanka rolled her eyes. She had half a mind to ask the stewardess if she was related to Hilary. Scratch that, she just wanted to punch the stewardess. Shreyanka watched with narrowed eyes, as the stewardess placed a napkin on the table, folded into the shape of a swan. She then placed the cutlery, wrapped in a paper napkin- WAIT A MINUTE. Paper napkin?? PAPER?? (ps: I know they don't use paper napkins in First class, but for the sake of the story...)
"Dammit!" yelled Shreyanka, flinging her champagne aside (wow, she must have been really angry to have actually let go of any alcoholic drink). "Paper napkins? Why can't you use cloth?? Save the trees, man." "I beg your pardon," said the Briton, looking highly affronted. "Harh? What you want?" demanded the stewardess, her polished facade slipping as she reverted to her Singaporean roots. "I said save-the-effing-TREES, dumbass!" Shreyanka grabbed the paper napkin, and stuffed it into a box labelled 'Recycle' which she had stowed under her seat.
The stewardess rushed to get the pilot. "Ma'am, is there a problem?" he asked calmly. "YEES!" screamed the stewardess. "The ploblem ees-" Shreyanka punched her aside. (Btw, incase you haven't figured out by now, I detest SIA stewardesses.) "It doesn't matter what the 'ploblem' is, because I'm getting out of here!!" shrieked Shreyanka madly. "Where are we now?" "Somewhere over France, but-" "Perfect! I love France!" Opening her bag, Shreyanka extracted a full set of parachuting apparatus. Clutching her bottle of Dom Perignon, she put on the parachute, opened the door of the plane somehow, and jumped off the plane. She waved to her astonished sister as the plane flew past her.
The horrified passengers could only look on in amazement as Shreyanka, dressed in a bright red jumpsuit, plumetted downwards. A faint "Au revoir....bitches!" was heard as they settled back into their seats.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson (1939 - 2005) A distant cousin of Yanka?
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Amanda tapped her foot on the ground loudly. What was supposed to be a 'Rustic Journey through France on Foot' had turned into a geological expedition for Deanna. They were only halfway through their trip, and already, she was being forced to carry her own backpack, Deanna's backpack, and another backpack full of different types of rocks. Deanna, meanwhile would skip around the countryside happily, ever on the lookout for -you guessed it- rocks.
"Amanda, come look! Look at this rock!" Amanda walked towards Deanna slowly; The look on her face clearly showed that she had tried to suppress her anger for too long a time, and was goingt to explode soon. You know, the look Mrs. Tee gets every time she sees us? Yeah, that one. "Amanda," continued Deanna, "looik at this rock! Its green in colour, so it probably contains glauconite or chlorite, but I've never seen a rock with such an odd tinge of green before and-" "Maybe its just fungus," said Amanda pointedly.She grabbed the rock and flung it as far as she could, away from Deanna.
"Ouch!!" yelled someone. Amanda looked upwards (or downwards. actually, since her head was above the clouds). It seemed like the rock she had flung had hit someone in the air.
"Maybe its a bird," said Deanna. "Birds don't talk, you twit," said Amanda, who was obviously in a bad mood. Turning around, the saw a huge red parachute come sailing out of the sky. "What's that? Its.... its holding a bottle of vodka... YAAAAANKA!!!" Yanka landed gracefully. "Sup...bitches?" she said.
Amanda gulped. She looked at Yanka, then at Deanna,then back at Yanka again. One was clutching a bottle of vodka and caressing it, and the other was talking to a rock. Amanda ran as fast as she could. She did not look back.
"No matter how far you travel or how much you run from it, can you ever really escape your past?" No Amanda, I'm telling you, that Deanna will be back to haunt you.
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A crowd was forming in the middle of Orchard Road. Cassandra sighed. She hated crowds. They slowed her down, and this particular crowd was preventing her from going to Kinokuniya and buying the new, special edition of "Chemistry for People Who Are so Smart They Actually Can Understand This Book." Elbowing people out of the way, she pushed her way to the front of the crowd, to see what the commotion was about.
Hew Xing Yi was kneeling, right there in the middle of the road. She was surrounded by a strange assortment of apparatus, including something that looked like an ancient typewriter with a stuffed gorilla arm attached to it. Xing Yi was holding an enormous magnifying glass and looking at something lying on the road.
"Oh hello Cass," said Xing Yi conversationally. "Look, I found a faerie.." Stepping closer, Cassandra knelt down to look at it. It had six legs, and had yellow and black stripes. "THAT'S A BEE!!!" Cassandra's face turned purple with anger, and she glared at Xing Yi angrily. "No, its a faerie. See its face?" "No, but I see its antenna." "Well, now that I've found a faerie," continued Xing Yi, oblivious to Cassandra's growing anger, "I suppose the doorway to Faerieland is nearby. "Faerieland doesn't exist." "You see, Faerieland is in the fourth dimension, so there must have been a tear in the fabric separating our world from theirs."
"That's great, Narnia-girl, but-" "No no, Cassandra," said Xing Yi calmly, patting Cass's shoulders with the magnifying glass. "Narnia is fiction. This is-" "REAL? If you say 'real' I'm going to punch you and-"
Someone in the crowd began laughing. Cassandra turned on the unsuspecting man immediately. "Listen, homo, do you know what the molecular formula for methyl ethyl ketone is??" The poor man stuttered, unable to do much more in the face of her fury. "Its also called butanone, and it formula is C4H8OCH3(CO)C2H5. Did you know that? DIN'T THINK SO.... Get out!" The man ran away, tripping over his own feet in his haste. Cassandra turned back to face Xing Yi, fists clenched and chest heaving with anger.
"Cass," began Xing Yi again. Cassandra snarled at her. "You're scaring the faerie. You see, faeries are generally not used to the way humans speak, the frequency is too low for them to pick up, and-" Just then the 'faerie' began buzzing angrily. It flew up, stung Cassandra on the nose, and then crawled away. "Oh well, I guess it wasn't a faerie," said Xing Yi peacefully, and started packing up her apparatus. "Life is so unfair," sighed Cassandra.
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Lydia loitered in the street corner, looking around furtively. She was wearing black pants, and a black sweater over a black t-shirt. A black cap was pulled low over her face, almost totally obscuring it. She hummed the tune from X-men to herself. Suddenly, a huge, sleek limousine pulled up at the curb. Looking around once more, Lydia opened the door, jumped in, and slammed the door shut. The limo sped off immediately, rubber tyres squeling as it accelerated to a speed of over 200 km/h.
"Don't break the speed limit, or I'll book you," Lydia told the driver conversationally. She pressed a button, and immediately, Liszt's Piano Sonata in B minor began playing softly in the background. "Aaah," said Lydia, leaning back into her seat, "the advantages of being a world-famous pianist. Its a pity singaporeans don't know about me," she continued, talking to herself. "Classless creatures... children of filth... MWAHAHAHA." Lydia laughed to herself. Suddenly, her finely tuned ears picked up the sound of a police siren. Apparently, limos weren't allowed in Singapore. Narrowing her eyes, Lydia took out a gun, leaned out of the window, and aimed for the police car. Four shots later, the police car ground to a halt, all of its tyres flat. "Stop picking your nose, or I'll book you," Lydia told the chaffeur, seemingly oblivious to the fact that possesion of a weapon, use of a gun, and firing at civil servants -all of which she was guilty of- was totally illegal. The limo screeched to a stop outside a private airport.
By then, Lydia had changed into a Versace gown she had bought recently. She got out of the limo gracefully, and entered a waiting private plane. The plane ride passed uneventfully, except for the fact that Lydia threw one of the stewardesses out of the window for not being able to pronounce 'debilitating' properly. (Those in Geog elective will understand) When another stewardess pointed out that firing random words at people and asking them to pronounce it was not normal, Lydia kicked her out too. She spent the next fifteen hours playing 'Claymates' on the inflight entertainment system.
Upon landing in Rome, Lydia was immediately whisked away to the world-famous Teatro dell'Opera di Roma, where she went backstage, preparing for her upcoming concert. "Humidifiers.. I want HUMIDIFIERS!!" she shrieked at her hapless attendants as they scurried around. "Do you want my fingers to become dry? Huh? You... commoners may be perfectly fine with living with unmoisturized fingers, but I.. I, am the great Lydia Yeo, and I SHALL ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD AND- oh, you found a humidifier? Thanks..."
20 minutes later, Lydia was onstage. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," she began cordially, addressing her 2000- strong audience of secretaries, ministers, presidents, pop stars and other influential figures. "For those of you in the audience who can't speak English, bonjour, aloha, whatever, I suggest you go learn it." She walked over to the piano- Lizst's own piano, a spotlight following her. Seated, she turned to face the audience again. "Oh, President George Bush? I know you're somewhere in the audience. Yeah, I-hate-you. You. Are. A. Texan. Monkey." Fingers poised over the piano momentarily, she took a deep breath and began playing one of her compositions, relaxing as the familiar tune overwhelmed her senses. ----------
Hmmm. I wonder about the newspaper headlines that will be published because of my friends?
" The Power of the Phrase 'I Want': How One Girl Intimdated People Into Giving Her Everything She Wanted"- Ding, that's you.
"Lovesick Teenager Tries To Climb A Tree and Get into SS Teacher's House; She Falls Off and Breaks a Leg, Teacher Watches and Laughs Gleefully." You know who this is. Meera.
"16year-old Allegedly 'hates everybody in the whole wide world.' Doctors Investigating Mental Breakdown." Su-lickles!!
"Deranged Fan of David Beckham tries to Kill Victoria; Fails and is Arrested." -Duh, this is Nicole Heng.
"Weird News: Schoolgirl Lands in Hospital After Tripping Over Her Own Feet." - You know this is Cheryl Seah.
"MGS Girl Arrested Over Killing of 'Bobo'."- April, who'll probably kill me too after reading this.
"Weird New: The Teen Who Thinks She's A Goat."- Giselle The Goat Tham
"New Element Discovered: Saladium. Next, Genius Discovers Cure for AIDS."- Sarah, Sally, Salad, etc :D
"100 metre World Record Broken by Singaporean Dashing After 'Hot Guy'."- Hilary. But then again, you probably guessed it already.
"MG Girl Goes Crazy and Tries Kill People; Nickname- 'The Axe-murderer'." - This is SO Ying Er. Haha.
"Schoolgirl Accidentally Falls Into the Lions' Enclosure in Zoo, then Falls Asleep Instead of Trying to Escape." - I was tempted to say 'Yanka on drugs' but no, its Denise.
Enjoy your last day of the Holidays! :DDD
YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;
