1:16 am
OMG, just checked my email (ignore the fact that its 1.3o in the morning) and got these two SUPER FUNNY emails from.. SEOW HUI TING. (Otherwise known as Laughey, Hyena, etc. If you don't know her, have you ever been concentrating really hard on smth in class, and then been interrupted by some moron's loud, maniacal, ear-splitting, deranged laughter? Yeah, that Hui Ting.)
Email #1:
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV & change the channel manually.
3. When people say "oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Email #2:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador to the UN): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
OSAMA BIN LADEN: If the chicken crossed the road, it is the will of God. We will bomb anyone who tries to prevent it crossing the road.
MAHATHIR MOHAMAD: What was wrong in the chicken crossing the road? The West think they can decide the way the chicken should cross. Well, this means I can't retire yet.
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my days, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
BILL GATES: I have just released MS eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of MS eChicken 2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? Dang!
Labels: Chickens, Email, Hatred
YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;
