Flabajaba.

"Will things ever be the same again?


It's the final countdown.."


- Europe,'The Final Countdown'


♥ Me.

Name:Rivali Dass
Age:16 :)
Birthday: 5th Oct '92
Class:1D '05, 2e '06 <33,3e '07, 4e '08
School: MGS
I <3: Family, My dogs, 2e, 4e, MORONS, painting, designing, writing weird stories, being generally weird, unsettling people...


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Saturday, March 17, 2007

8:29 pm

I was just wondering, you know, teachers write stuff in our report books sometimes right? Most of it is nice stuff, some of it is utter crap where its obvious they don't even know who the bloody hell you are.So I was just thinking...

REPORT CARD FOR MORONS AND THEIR FRIENDS (What those teachers should really be writing.)

Amrit: Amrit is a diligent and hardworking pupil who always does amazingly well in exams. Yet, I feel that sometimes, during lessons, she is glaring at the taller people in class rather than concentrating on the subject. Now, Amrit is of a perfectly normal height, yet at the rate she goes on about it, you'd think she was a dwarf. Also, she continuously mutters under her breath, while giving me the evil eye. And what exactly does 'fudhi' mean? She has flung this word at me on countless occasions. This is unnaceptable behaviour.


Esther: At the beginning of the year, I thought that Esther was a quiet and studious pupil. My image of her drastically changed when she refused to stop pole-dancing in the middle of my lesson. Though she has never disappointed us at all, when it comes to her exam results, perhaps being a little ....er, less obsessed with certain unexplainable things- such as herself- would help her score even better. I would also advise her to not have 10 boyfriends all at once. This is directly affecting her exam results. For example, when I asked the class to write an essay entitled "Heaven," she wrote a 50000 word essay on why ACS Barker is heaven on earth. Now, I connot fathom why anyone would think that a prison full of smelly, dirty, disgusting boys is paradise, and therefore advise you, as her concerned parents. to take her to see a psychiatrist.


Sarah: Sarah has topped the class in every single subject, once again. I have no complaints towards her attitude, except that I feel she takes her responsibilities a bit too seriously. Once, during class, she started yelling at me, and informed me that I was not wearing an MG Uniform. In case you are unaware of this, teachers are not supposed to wear the MG uniform, unless it is on special occasions, such as Teachers' Day. where even male teachers allow themselves to be forced into the uniform, because- who cares?- we're getting presents! And though Sarah's love for chemistry is very apparent (her previous Chemistry teachers have all called her a "dear, dear child"), I feel that she should make an effort to get along better with her literature teachers, as every single one of them has, at some time or the other, expressed a desire to dispose of her. Her philosophy teacher, still insists, to this very day, that Sarah called her an "fat, ugly cow" in class last year.


Su-lyn: Su-lyn is a beautiful, intelligent, pretty, lovely, exquisite, diligent, breath-taking, witty- ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, SU-LYN, WILL YOU GET THAT KNIFE AWAY FROM ME?? Listen, Mr. and Mrs. Sin- before Su-lyn kills me- you're daughter has an unhealthy obsession with her looks. She is always putting on makeup, or powdering her face in the middle of my lesson. When she learned that there was a possibility of UV rays touching her skin during a particular Biology experiment, she insisted that we provided her with a full, UV-protected, astronaught suit. And she is also- AAAACK,...COUGH COUGH COUGH.....ARRRGHHHH (teacher dies because Su-lyn stabbed him/her.)


Ding: Xin Yi, or as her friends call her, Ding, is a quiet girl who is a joy to teach. She is hardworking and perseverant, and this shows in her exam results, which were very good, compared to the rest of the horrible girls, in her horrible, horrible class. However, I have recently noticed some disturbing characteristics of hers. For example, when her class was bullying me,spewing vulgarities, trying to roast me alive,etc, I expected Xin Yi to sit quietly or perhaps even try to stop the rest of the class. Instead, she stood up on her desk and began throwing spitballs at me, while demanding that I call her 'Deadly Ding.' When I refused to do so, she brandished a sword and threatened to impale me on it. As her parents, I would advise you to look into whether or not she has relations with any terrorist groups, from where she obtains such weaponry. If you find out that she has not been fraternising with terrorists, I suggest you file a police report against her friend Rivali, who surely has some relations with Osama and/or Saddam.


Hui Ting: Friends call her 'Laughey." I call her 'Retard.' Seriously, Mr. and Mrs. Seow, what is wrong with your daughter?Once I trolled happily into class, and said "Good morning, girls." Hui Ting laughed so hard, she fell out of her chair- something which, I have heard from her teachers last year, is not an uncommon occurence. I still do not see anything humorous in what I said. Another time, I was solving an extremely difficult maths equation on the board. Hui Ting just stood up, walked to the front of the class, stepped on my foot, then pointed to my face and said "haha." She then sat back down. This is not normal.Also, she has a burning and obvious hatred for someone called 'Frogspawn.' She randomly starts muttering rabidly in class- "Aha! You frog! YOU FROG! You think I cannot afford socks? Huh? YOU ARE DEMOTED TO A TADPOLE! You like poking me with a bible? OI! YOU ARE A FROGSPAWN! A FROGSPAWN I TELL YOU!" She then sinks back into a dazed stupor which is characteristic to bored students in maths class.


Hui Ling: Mr. and Mrs. Chua, let me tell you, in the 14 years that I have been a teacher, never have I come across someone who is as terrifying as Hui Ling. Its not that she cannot be nice- I have seen her act like a perfectly nice person around her moronic friends. Yet, when it comes to teachers, it seems that Hui Ling just does not understand that we are not evil-creatures-out-to-destroy-her. She has repeatedly punched me in the face when she does not get full marks for math. And though her not achieving 100% in maths is a very rare occurence, it is still not acceptable behaviour to punch a teacher in the face. I have broken my nose exactly eleven times this year, and every single one of these 'accidents' can be directly linked to Hui Ling. Once, she grabbed hold of my shirt, and flung me bodily out of the room. Just because I minused 1 mark off a maths teast due to her atrocious handwriting. PLEASE- i beg you- PLEASE do something about her handwriting.


Shakti:Shakti is a brilliant student, and a real joy to teach compared to the rest of the dunb girls in her class. However, her obsession with a certain......person, may be hindering her progress in class. Once, I was marking the girls'biology assignments. All of Shakti's assignments were correctly and neatly completed, except for one, where she has nothing but "I love M-----" written all over it. Also, Shakti has once told me that I am hideous. Now, I disagree strongly with this statement. I may have orange and green hair, and wear winged glasses and frilly little frocks- but that is called self-expression and creativity. I therefore do not appreciate students telling me that I am a "fugly, hideous loser" and asking me to go and die.


Nicole: An intellectual individual who is definitely one of the brighter ones in class, Nicole has done very well in her exams, no doubt, yet I feel that her attention span is sadly lacking. Once, in the middle of class, she started saying "Beckham! David! Beckham! Comne to meeeeeeeeeeee.... KILL POSH SPICE!" while drooling over a picture of the aforementioned footballer. When I attempted to stop her, she stood up, threw her chair at me and yelled "YOU'RE NOT DAVID BECKHAM!" Then, she and the rest of her class started standing on their desks, and danced and chanted in a rather scary, tribal manner. Nicole started shrieking "KILL POSH SPICE!!" but suddenly, she turned around. Giving me a look of pure evil, she pointed to me and said- "Kill it." Immediately, she and her friends April and Giselle (who may I say never stop laughing), started a fire in class and tried to roast me alive. While running back to the staffroom, Nicole's classmate Ding threw a sword at me, thus shearing half of my hair off.
When I told the class that their constant torment of me had caused me to take a two-week vacation in Jamaica to improve my nerves, I thought that they would show some sympathy or atleast be serious. However, Nicole threw yet another chair at me while the maniacal class cheerfully informed me that, instead it going to Jamaica, I should go to hell.


Meera: Meera is...... a MANIAC. M for Maniac. I am sorry, Justice and Mrs. Rajah, but there is simply no other word to describe your daughter. If she is not throwing stuffed...chickens at me, she's either talking- with a fake Indian accent- to her friend Heidi, or trying to rip my head off with her bare teeth. I have caught her foaming at the mouth in the middle of classes. Also, she has a morbid fear of water. These are symptoms of rabies.And though Meera insists that she hates water because it would "ruin her hair," I am inclined to think otherwise. I feel that the copious amount of mousse she uses has addled her brains. Either that, or she was exposed to abnormal amounts of radiation as a child. Either way, I suggest that if you are even remotely concerned about your daughter's well-being, you would take her away from MGS. Far, far,FAR away, before I kill her.

So, this should give you a er...accurate description of the people MORONS I associate with..

loveRivali

YShe laughed. And laughed. And laughed yet again.;;